The Hedonist
- Full name: Alexander Moretti
- Nickname(s): Alex
- Gender: Male
- Age: 34
- Zodiac: Taurus
- Occupation: Bookshop owner by day, smut romance novelist by night
- Eye color: Dark blue
- Hair length & style: Jaw length, shaggy, black
- Height: 6' 4"
- Body Type: Tall and muscular
- Race: Caucasian (Italian)
- Orientation: Fluid
- Notable: He has DID (multiple personality disorder) and wears reading glasses when writing and reading. Always has a bit of carefully groomed stubble.
- Some Background: Alex was raised in Italy with his emotionally absent father and his psychotic mother. There, he was enrolled in fancy private schools, receiving an excellent education, but his grades faltered due to his developing mental illness caused by his home situation. At age twenty, he left Italy for England, and there found himself a home. He got published as a romance novelist, and found his calling. He ran around, quite content, indulging in booze and one night stands, until one of those one night stands ended up being a man who he wound up trusting and loving. Joel. He eventually asked him to move in with him, and they were quite happy until one of his personalities took over and tried to kill himself, leaving Joel afraid and incapable of staying with him any longer. Alex, now alone, is deeply depressed and drinks himself to sleep in fear of his own body betraying him again.
- Likes: Fancy cigarettes, expensive booze, sunflowers, the American Civil War, Gone with the Wind, looking at nature, cooking
- Dislikes: Inconsistency, instability, ugly things, being uncomfortable, small spaces, his parents, being proven wrong